Sebastian x Everyone
by thaliaarche
Summary: A series of 100-, 200- and 300-word drabbles. Now featuring Ciel, Queen Victoria, Finny, Lizzie, Sieglinde, Frances, the Double Charles, Abberline, Druitt, Madam Red, Agni, Bard, Lau, Mei-Rin, assorted reapers, and one lucky cat, with one more character on the way!
1. Chapter 1

Sebastian takes one look at butler and mistress, at Grell Sutcliff and Madam Red, and he discerns death. The human, in particular, hides darkness under her sparkling facade. She is a flame, red with rage, rapidly burning itself out.

When she refuses to disguise her lust (a less demonic butler would accuse her of harassment), he acquiesces, each knowing full well that they might attempt to kill the other the next day. As they bury themselves in ivory skin and red or raven hair, he hears her repeating a word, loosely formed, ripped out by each gasp.

"Vincent, Vincent, Vincent . . ."


	2. Chapter 2

Even while preparing his own dish, Sebastian steals glances at that butler. Agni whirls around the kitchen, grinding cinnamon, sprinkling turmeric. He adds water and mixes by hand, kneading them into a paste that he then fries. His limbs move by an artless grace, a magnificent imprecision a demon can only ever imitate...

"Could you give me your opinion?" The other butler's voice, rich and low, cuts into his thoughts.

Sebastian dips a spoon into Agni's pan and licks it. The flavors and spices mean nothing to him... But the flavors of Agni's hands still linger.

"Delicious."


	3. Chapter 3

In the kitchen, Bard watches Sebastian repair the freshly exploded stove and smokes his cigarette.

"Want a puff, Mister Sebastian?"

"I've never smoked. It would irritate the young master's asthma."

"Nah," Bard shrugs. "Washing out smoke's a hell of a lot easier than fixing that stove."

"True," Sebastian considers. "Might I?"

Bard hands him the cigarette, and Sebastian breathes the scorching, smoky poison deep into his lungs. Then, he exhales with "O"-shaped lips, creating a perfect smoke ring.

"Whoa," Bard sputters, "you're good for a first-timer!"

Sebastian smiles nostalgically. "It reminds me of home."


	4. Chapter 4

Sebastian enters the East End's greatest opium den, slipping into a dreamlike fog. The haze hangs over rows of beds where addicts sprawl, eyes clouded and drifting, limbs lolling on teal cushions and Tyrian purple sheets. At the center, Lau reclines on his side, like a prince.

"You return once again," the dealer sets aside his pipe and rises to greet his visitor. "Did you take pleasure from the little cheongsam I sent Ciel?"

"Have I a taste for such deviance?"

"Oh, you devil," Lau laughs, falling to the demon's knees. There, amidst so many other debauched bodies, he worships.


	5. Chapter 5

Yet another Shinigami is meddling, this time emotionally compromising a Phantomhive staff member with just a wink—

And so, when a ladder wobbles by the china cabinet, Sebastian lets Mei-Rin fall.

He saunters downstairs, notices her tumbled on the ground, and— after quickly checking that her talented arms and eyes are unharmed— gasps dramatically and finally rushes to her aid. Donning his best worried expression, he urges her not to worry about having shattered Ciel's finest teapot and then fetches bandages, insisting that he treat her cut shin. Glove brushes skin, girlish cheeks flush—

And Ronald Knox is forever forgotten.


	6. Chapter 6

"You accuse me with your stare, my love, and indeed I met another beauty on this last mission. I could not restrain myself from caressing his soft, muscular limbs. I am what I am. Lately, my heart has wandered."

"But my master is your greatest threat, you know. His very body rebels at the sight of you. Around you, he weeps shuddering tears, and sneezes uncontrollably . . . Cruel tyrant that he is, he would have me banish you from his manor. But, where you are concerned, I will not be oppressed by his whims. Let us live, my cat, and love . . ."


	7. Chapter 7

The Shinigami are still meddling, so Sebastian meddles back. He pounces onto Ronald's lawnmower mid-battle, grabs onto dirty-blond curls, kisses him full on the mouth, and escapes as Grell attacks her coworker.

For Undertaker, he follows their long-established custom, easily doffing the butler aesthetic to instead act out every salacious demon stereotype. Things go further this time, and Sebastian would be insulted by how much Undertaker laughed if he wasn't earning so much information.

He seduces William to coax out additional secrets but leaves empty-handed. Under Will's prim, diligent facade, there lies no imperfection, no spark of spontaneity at all.


	8. Chapter 8

Ciel wanted Druitt distracted. Druitt wanted Sebastian.

Thus Sebastian found himself lying on purple satin sheets doused with rosewater, the Viscount slobbering on his mouth.

"Your skin is pale, smooth as a girl's," Druitt gave a sigh stinking with Merlot. "Your locks are soft like a lady's," he murmured, now scratching at Sebastian's hair. "And I'd gamble that only a virgin could compete with your—"

"Sweet hell, would you stop overcompensating?" Hearing his master call, Sebastian pushed the half-drunk would-be seducer to the floor, never before so grateful for one of Ciel's summonses.


	9. Chapter 9

Ciel purchased a reaper's services; thus, Sebastian found Grell in a too-sheer nightgown— in his bed.

"Mmm," she purred, "we hurl towards our climax—"

"Hurl,' indeed."

"Sebby—" she frowned. "Surely you want this a bit?"

"No."

Grell flinched. "Yet I'd be foolish not to use you tonight."

"Indeed," he muttered, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Ugh, keep your clothes on... You're playing a butler, right? Well, I want a dessert feast. Cakes, mousses, truffles—"

He raised his eyes, daring to hope—

"With cream everywhere."

"You couldn't resist," he tutted, hiding his smile while relocating to the kitchen.


	10. Chapter 10

When the Phantomhive boy, walking symbol of law turned evil, first breezed onto a murder scene, he dragged that butler behind him . . . And Abberline collapsed into stuttering adoration. How could a man like that— so implausibly graceful, so radiantly pure— be ensnared by Phantomhive?

Abberline believed in redemption. And so he decided to become a role model, a beacon of hope for that hapless butler. Yes, he'll champion true justice, standing up to the earl and his shady methods, spurning the bribes that cruel boy forces Sebastian to offer.

He'll rescue Sebastian from Ciel, from corruption, from damnation.


	11. Chapter 11

Ciel visits the palace, and Sebastian accompanies him, muttering about the dust here, the cobwebs there.

He prowls the palace again that night, searching out clues, secrets, anything of use to Ciel. Indeed, he discovers the finest of blackmail material— the queen's butlers kissing in the kitchen, Grey tugging at Phipps' platinum curls, Phipps stroking Grey's lacy shirt. Sebastian watches, spellbound by such decadence—

Suddenly there is a sword at his throat.

"Looking to blackmail us?" Grey hisses.

Sebastian casts about for another explanation— ah, of course. "Actually, I rather hoped to join you."

He'll never criticize their hospitality again.


	12. Chapter 12

Sebastian never expected the ball to go smoothly; Ciel's dancing would make sure of that. But he hadn't expected the falling chandelier. Or the vampire attack . . .

"This nonsense again?" Ciel snaps. "Sebastian, destroy them all."

"I hate to disappoint," Sebastian sighs, "but even I cannot take them on alone . . ."

"Can you take them on with help?" Francis Midford strides in, golden hair mussed, ball gown ripped, a sword glimmering in each hand. Sebastian realizes the blades are of magical make— she must have pried them from vampiric corpses.

He grins at the sight. "But of course, my lady."


	13. Chapter 13

At Ciel's orders, Sebastian dashes around past midnight to assist Sieglinde, fetching new slides, measuring chemicals ("I am one hell of a dropper," he boasts).

Peering into the microscope, she murmurs, "I still want to test you."

This is now an old game between them. "I am afraid I belong to my master, fabulous DNA and all. Won't you take Finny as your lab rat instead?"

"You know full well he's not the one I want," she waggles her shoulders, voice teasingly suggestive. He shakes his head, chuckling.

And so the demon and the witch work late into the night.


	14. Chapter 14

Ciel storms from the dance, leaving Lizzie distraught in the grand hall of Phantomhive Manor.

Without looking, she feels Sebastian beside her.

"Surely I arranged the ball beautifully?"

"You know you did, my lady."

"And I was helpful. I invited everyone he needed to spy on . . ."

"Actually, _that_ is why he is upset. One of his deals just crumbled . . ."

"You're not a good enough liar, Sebastian, but I thank you for trying." Elizabeth swallows tears and raises her chin, donning the hostess aesthetic once again. "Tend to the refreshment table— Earl Grey entirely decimated the meringues."

"Yes— my lady."


	15. Chapter 15

Nina glances at that butler and huffs. "I'm not taking Ciel as a client again."

"You are the finest and most discreet tailor living," Sebastian sighs. "Won't you please reconsider?"

"He's not as cute now, and—"

"And?"

"And I couldn't stand your hostility anymore, Michaelis."

Sebastian frowned, considered, then smirked. "You misunderstood."

"I doubt it."

"You did," Sebastian's voice was suddenly higher, richer, a deep contralto. He unbuttoned his black tailcoat, revealing slight yet recognizably feminine curves under his white, button-up shirt. As she stared, he murmured, "Dear Nina, you misunderstood my 'hostility' entirely."


	16. Chapter 16

Springtime. Finny has grown, and the chemicals that had strengthened his muscles strengthen other impulses besides.

And so, he tears through the manor one day, dashing to that butler.

"What did you break today—" Sebastian begins, when— SMACK— Finny crashes into him and gives him a crushing kiss.

Shocked, then amused, Sebastian lets him. He tastes fresh, spring air on his gardener's breath and smelled upturned earth and budding flowers on his muddy clothes. He raises one hand to stroke the sunny blond hair, another to cup a ruddy cheek, laughing against Finny's innocent— albeit murderously strong— lips.


	17. Chapter 17

Ciel's crimes are too egregious to stay unpunished, yet _he_ seems too useful to eliminate. Thus, Sebastian finds himself summoned to hear the Queen's sentence— execution, he already knows. He is tempted to yield, simply to spook Ciel for a day before reappearing at the Manor, newly disguised. Yet this Queen, head of the most hypocritically moralizing society Sebastian has seen since heaven, also needs a fright . . .

Now, he reads the statement that Ciel has written for him, pretending to stammer, pretending that he hasn't memorized every contour of his master's every word. "Yo-your Majesty, I am honored to be in your presence . . ."

 _You are honored to be in mine._

"The Watchdog seeks to fulfill your every desire . . ."

 _Fake queen, fill yourself with desire._

While Sebastian Michaelis stutters and stumbles, the demon underneath flaunts its full charisma at this helpless, human soul. It hypnotizes, tantalizes. It smells her befuddlement, then her interest, then her adoration, soul struggling to suppress desires . . .

"How the hell did she let you off?" Ciel gapes. "I was looking forward to your hanging!"

"But young master," Sebastian smirks, "how could I be a demon if I would not do this much?"


	18. Chapter 18

"Sebastian," Ciel murmurs, "why was Lau's new woman tittering at you?"

"She considers me charming, no doubt."

The earl snorts. "Then why evade her glances so scrupulously? I'd expect demons to revel in such attention." His eyes narrow. "What is your relationship to her?"

"I saw her today."

"And what else?"

Sebastian, suddenly engrossed in dusting a vase, mutters, "We had an affair."

"You . . ." He drops his face into his hands. "Are there any other affairs you've conducted under my nose?"

"Young master . . ."

Ciel groans. "Full list, _now_."

"Madame Red, Lau, assorted employees of Lau, Charles Phipps, Charles Grey, Ms. Hopkins, Undertaker, some police officers, Mr. Spears . . ."

Ciel's eyes bug out as the list grows. Even when his demon runs out of liasons . . .

"You'll question me further, learning that I also threw myself at Queen Victoria, obtaining nothing but my pardon and extremely quick dismissal . . ."

Ciel gags.

"Moreover, I flirted with Agni, Knox and Mei-Rin, Finny flirted with me, and Sieglinde and I flirt with each other. I've relationships that defy classification with Druitt and both Ladies Midford, and . . . Young master, you look quite sick."

Indeed, Ciel has slumped over and planted his face against the desk. "Sebastian, is such philandering quite typical for you?"

"It is for other demons . . ." Sebastian frowns, "But not for me. Recently, my instincts have been compelling me towards flirtation when carrying out my goals, even when less seductive methods would do."

"And is there a reason for this compulsion?"

"What reason . . ." He trails off as his brilliant young master raises his head, already guessing the answer, smiling devilishly. Ah, Sebastian is the grand manipulator of other hearts— how could it take him so long to realize his own desire?

He grins and says simply, "Yes, my lord."


End file.
